I'm tired of these pet peeves. I'm getting over it.
My tipping point
I need to vent and I'm not going to hold back. Today was just one of the days when different emotions were overwhelming me all at once. I reached my boiling point. I know I can't control others and I shouldn't have any expectations, but there are just some things that have been bothering me. My feelings caught me off guard and I wish I could ignore them. I would much rather focus on the positive and what I'm grateful for, but these underlying feelings are getting in my way. I could rule out so many other possibilities, excuses, and things to give anyone and everyone the benefit of the doubt. But the point is, I am acknowledging what is weighing me down so I can finally let it go and move on. So here goes.
Just venting. You've been warned.
It bothers me when people leave me hanging. I hate it when people lead me on or deceive me. I hate it when I do that to myself. I'm talking about when people cannot be straight up about what their intentions are whether they really intend to follow through with something or not or they do not have the courtesy to communicate they changed their mind.
I hate to hunt people down to figure out if they want to follow through with a commitment, obligation, or promise. I despise being placed in a position where I'm obligated coerce anyone to do anything. As much as I like to persuade people to do things because I believe it would be in their best interest, I've decided to not go there anymore. If someone doesn't want to do something, it is not my responsibility to try to manipulate them to do something they are not interested in or have no intention of doing.
I hate it when people delegate to me to do simple things they can easily do their self or want me to approach someone for them, but they don't want to do it because they are acting lazy, scared, or trying to avoid embarrassment. They would much rather dump that crap on me and put me in awkward positions. They make empty claims and promises like, "But I would do that for you too." In the past, people have convinced me on different occasions that I'm the one who needs to talk to this person or that person to do something. It's like, what the heck? Why don't you do that yourself? So many different people dump this crap on me all the time and as much as I like to help, I'm tired of it. I refuse to get involved anymore.
I hate it when people use concepts of guilt, fear, or obligation as their strategy to persuade me to do what they want after I have made my mind up not to participate in or do something. I receive this kind of feedback all the time and from so many different people I know. It's almost as if they are asserting I don't care about them or neglecting others because I am declining certain invitations or favors. Basically when people use these kind of words, it really hurts me a lot because I know I give people my best with the time and resources I have. I refuse to get caught up in this stuff as well. When this kind of feedback is directed my way, I will call people out on it and clarify their real intentions.
It bothers me when people act passive aggressive or moody towards me without communicating with me what bothers them clearly, in a timely manner, and do so unapologetically. I hate having to deal with such immaturity when there are more effective and mature ways of resolving issues. I'm usually the one that has to call this stuff out and it's not always pretty. I'm not saying I'm always right or that I have to be right, but it's this kind of behavior that leaves me vulnerable. This is one of the things that sets me over the edge and I keep my distance from such negativity and hostility.
It bothers me when people pressure me and expect me to give more of myself than I can comfortably or realistically give. This disappoints me because I'm left feeling misunderstood and unsupported. I've been feeling under appreciated. My feelings of disappointment and under appreciation are scattered in different parts of my life. I'm not suggesting that I need all these boastful or exaggerated compliments to boost my ego. I don't give of myself because I expect anything in return or because I'm trying to keep score, but even everyone needs a little appreciation now and then. It would just be nice to get some feedback if what I'm doing actually makes any difference and was worth it. At the same time, I'm working on letting go of this unconscious expectation I hold on to because it depresses me.
It also bothers me when people project their frustrations toward me unnecessarily and unapologetically like it's my fault or as if I was suppose to do something to fix it when I can't. I refuse to be pushed around and if you cannot treat me with respect, stay away from me.
It also bothers me when people try to define me, accuse me of being something I'm not, criticize me unfairly, or assume and claim things about me that are not true without verifying the truth.
What now?
I'm glad I'm gaining perspective on things. I accept responsibility for not following through with my priorities, making better decisions, and setting better limits with myself. I felt the consequences and the pain of not doing so. I try to remind myself to forgive myself and others. I've been searching for healthier and more effective ways to cope and deal with it all. I realized I need more space to be true to myself, think, do what's best for me. I'm working on letting go of certain addictions and compulsions. I'm working on conserving my energy and using my time well. I'm so tired of a lot of superficial, pointless crap I've been dealing with. It's not worth it. I hate the times I feel like I want to control people or certain situations. I'm tired of feeling like I'm waiting for something or someone to change as if I'm holding my breath for a long time.
I'm changing my focus. If it doesn't feel good anymore or if it is questionably meaningless, it's time to let it go. I'm going to follow my bliss. I may be different, but I am what I am.
I need to vent and I'm not going to hold back. Today was just one of the days when different emotions were overwhelming me all at once. I reached my boiling point. I know I can't control others and I shouldn't have any expectations, but there are just some things that have been bothering me. My feelings caught me off guard and I wish I could ignore them. I would much rather focus on the positive and what I'm grateful for, but these underlying feelings are getting in my way. I could rule out so many other possibilities, excuses, and things to give anyone and everyone the benefit of the doubt. But the point is, I am acknowledging what is weighing me down so I can finally let it go and move on. So here goes.
Just venting. You've been warned.
It bothers me when people leave me hanging. I hate it when people lead me on or deceive me. I hate it when I do that to myself. I'm talking about when people cannot be straight up about what their intentions are whether they really intend to follow through with something or not or they do not have the courtesy to communicate they changed their mind.
I hate to hunt people down to figure out if they want to follow through with a commitment, obligation, or promise. I despise being placed in a position where I'm obligated coerce anyone to do anything. As much as I like to persuade people to do things because I believe it would be in their best interest, I've decided to not go there anymore. If someone doesn't want to do something, it is not my responsibility to try to manipulate them to do something they are not interested in or have no intention of doing.
I hate it when people delegate to me to do simple things they can easily do their self or want me to approach someone for them, but they don't want to do it because they are acting lazy, scared, or trying to avoid embarrassment. They would much rather dump that crap on me and put me in awkward positions. They make empty claims and promises like, "But I would do that for you too." In the past, people have convinced me on different occasions that I'm the one who needs to talk to this person or that person to do something. It's like, what the heck? Why don't you do that yourself? So many different people dump this crap on me all the time and as much as I like to help, I'm tired of it. I refuse to get involved anymore.
I hate it when people use concepts of guilt, fear, or obligation as their strategy to persuade me to do what they want after I have made my mind up not to participate in or do something. I receive this kind of feedback all the time and from so many different people I know. It's almost as if they are asserting I don't care about them or neglecting others because I am declining certain invitations or favors. Basically when people use these kind of words, it really hurts me a lot because I know I give people my best with the time and resources I have. I refuse to get caught up in this stuff as well. When this kind of feedback is directed my way, I will call people out on it and clarify their real intentions.
It bothers me when people act passive aggressive or moody towards me without communicating with me what bothers them clearly, in a timely manner, and do so unapologetically. I hate having to deal with such immaturity when there are more effective and mature ways of resolving issues. I'm usually the one that has to call this stuff out and it's not always pretty. I'm not saying I'm always right or that I have to be right, but it's this kind of behavior that leaves me vulnerable. This is one of the things that sets me over the edge and I keep my distance from such negativity and hostility.
It bothers me when people pressure me and expect me to give more of myself than I can comfortably or realistically give. This disappoints me because I'm left feeling misunderstood and unsupported. I've been feeling under appreciated. My feelings of disappointment and under appreciation are scattered in different parts of my life. I'm not suggesting that I need all these boastful or exaggerated compliments to boost my ego. I don't give of myself because I expect anything in return or because I'm trying to keep score, but even everyone needs a little appreciation now and then. It would just be nice to get some feedback if what I'm doing actually makes any difference and was worth it. At the same time, I'm working on letting go of this unconscious expectation I hold on to because it depresses me.
It also bothers me when people project their frustrations toward me unnecessarily and unapologetically like it's my fault or as if I was suppose to do something to fix it when I can't. I refuse to be pushed around and if you cannot treat me with respect, stay away from me.
It also bothers me when people try to define me, accuse me of being something I'm not, criticize me unfairly, or assume and claim things about me that are not true without verifying the truth.
What now?
I'm glad I'm gaining perspective on things. I accept responsibility for not following through with my priorities, making better decisions, and setting better limits with myself. I felt the consequences and the pain of not doing so. I try to remind myself to forgive myself and others. I've been searching for healthier and more effective ways to cope and deal with it all. I realized I need more space to be true to myself, think, do what's best for me. I'm working on letting go of certain addictions and compulsions. I'm working on conserving my energy and using my time well. I'm so tired of a lot of superficial, pointless crap I've been dealing with. It's not worth it. I hate the times I feel like I want to control people or certain situations. I'm tired of feeling like I'm waiting for something or someone to change as if I'm holding my breath for a long time.
I'm changing my focus. If it doesn't feel good anymore or if it is questionably meaningless, it's time to let it go. I'm going to follow my bliss. I may be different, but I am what I am.
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